A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.