oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.