i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it