The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick