you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
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I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
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God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.