woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
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you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
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just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.