I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
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I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
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You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston