No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose