Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.