well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
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I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.