Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
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well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.