Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier