Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.