Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"