He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
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you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I understand Curling. That high.