Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I understand Curling. That high.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...