Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
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The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.