i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.