Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.