Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.