She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist