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Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
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