I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.