So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
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Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
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He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously