WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.