I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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