Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.