when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?