and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you