Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit