Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
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Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.