I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
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Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
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Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on