If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old