There was a lot of him and a little penis
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
please come you make the beer taste better
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.