please come you make the beer taste better
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
im six kinds of drunk right now
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
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I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!