I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.