If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.