Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Montana (406)

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  we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig

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  (406): we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig http://tfl.nu/68f1
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  We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!

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  (406): We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?! http://tfl.nu/cb95
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  also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)

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  (406): also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome) http://tfl.nu/u3lw
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  I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.

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  (406): I have better things to do with my life than be faithful. http://tfl.nu/xz80
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  Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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  (406): Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver? http://tfl.nu/hdgc
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  You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.

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  (406): You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him. http://tfl.nu/veeu
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  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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  (406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l
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  Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.

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  (406): Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video. http://tfl.nu/84d9
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  Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.

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  (406): Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan. http://tfl.nu/6agv
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  I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.

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  (406): I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever. http://tfl.nu/7tpa
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  bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?

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  (406): bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok? http://tfl.nu/2iym
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  don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room

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  (406): don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room http://tfl.nu/gche
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  were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?

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  (406): were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong? http://tfl.nu/plyg
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  its 2pm. u awake yet?

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  ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.

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  (406): its 2pm. u awake yet? (1-406): ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face. http://tfl.nu/0qbj
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  Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.

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  (406): Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out. http://tfl.nu/4zrh
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