Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Montana (406)

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  i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

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  (406): i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood http://tfl.nu/i7ix
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  Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift

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  (406): Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift http://tfl.nu/uiqc
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  Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.

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  Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs

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  (406): Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer. (1-406): Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs http://tfl.nu/ro47
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  He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.

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  (406): He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die. http://tfl.nu/b33e
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  He makes me want to shower. It must be love.

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  (406): He makes me want to shower. It must be love. http://tfl.nu/y7mq
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  I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.

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  (406): I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/7oui
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  There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.

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  (406): There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry. http://tfl.nu/fovj
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  Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.

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  I'm not even gonna ask.

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  (406): Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you. (1-406): I'm not even gonna ask. http://tfl.nu/42tt
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  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
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  Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.

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  Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.

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  (406): Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever. (1-406): Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible. http://tfl.nu/2r6p
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  I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.

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  (406): I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth. http://tfl.nu/0auz
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  It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.

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  (406): It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change. http://tfl.nu/cbid
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  you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday

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  (406): you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday http://tfl.nu/fxk1
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  My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls

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  (406): My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls http://tfl.nu/ydwq
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  Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.

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  (406): Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/8if7
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