Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you