It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude i'm inner monologue high
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's Friday. Sex?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I