Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
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he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Are my feet made of real feet?