he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.