I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?