He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.