you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS