No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.