I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.