Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
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I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.