Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
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Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.