my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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