I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
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Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics