I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics