You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.