My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.