battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.