Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize