I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid