I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid