if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Someone shit on the floor
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?