Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.