Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Tennessee (901)

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.

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  you are insane

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  (901): Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere. (376): you are insane http://tfl.nu/nfoh
  Replies (12) Good night (3450) Bad night (752)
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  i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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  (901): i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight." http://tfl.nu/7ug8
  Replies (29) Good night (4102) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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  Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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  (901): Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/fpgv
  Replies (16) Good night (3349) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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  people would bow to what i just did to her vagina

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  (901): people would bow to what i just did to her vagina http://tfl.nu/rxjb
  Replies (31) Good night (7189) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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  I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ...are you coming on to me?

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  (901): I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me. (601): Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly (901): ...are you coming on to me? http://tfl.nu/90vx
  Replies (12) Good night (3231) Bad night (589)
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  I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.

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  (901): I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game. http://tfl.nu/7tak
  Replies (15) Good night (476) Bad night (2260)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

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  (901): Yea well when i pee it makes steam. http://tfl.nu/1t52
  Replies (11) Good night (2276) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

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  (901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? http://tfl.nu/ijcb
  Replies (63) Good night (2560) Bad night (3327)
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  Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks

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  (901): Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks http://tfl.nu/a6p7
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  no

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE

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  (901): pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit (1-901): no (901): the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table (901): im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE http://tfl.nu/q3wo
  Replies (12) Good night (426) Bad night (1310)
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  I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money

  (813): View more from Florida

  sounds like you understand them just fine

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  (901): I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money (813): sounds like you understand them just fine http://tfl.nu/0zfp
  Replies (10) Good night (1556) Bad night (623)
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  1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  1:48 am: your uglier

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  (901) 1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man (423) 1:48 am: your uglier http://tfl.nu/ln5v
  Replies (6) Good night (1023) Bad night (1647)