He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"