I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life