I swear she didn't look like that last week.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
