you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?