It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.