It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i think my mom watched the whole time
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around