Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.