I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home