Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.