You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.