Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER