The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time