Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber