I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.