I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.