The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.