i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.