I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?