Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.