do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.