Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you