What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.