The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.