Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.