Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
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